Sunday, September 9, 2007

My Good Acquaintance, Zhi Ling

This is going to be a long story, be it whether do this story are linked or connected in any way, I think you could actually make a double expresso or a cafe latte, spending your own sweet time reading this. Better still, do relieve yourself in the toilet first.

Anyone can guess how I got to know Zhi Ling? It's the least that you could be able to think about.

It was through blogging. I remembered when I was in Secondary 3, I started my very first own blog. However, before I started to create a blog of my own, I went blog hopping most of the time.

When I was 11-13, I started making friends with lots of people from Bedok South Secondary School. Basically, my beloved sister was from that school and she would introduced some of her good friends to me. That's when I started having wider and wider circle of friends from Bedok South.

Once, I hopped on a blog, which happened to be a student from Bds. I commented something on the tag board and that's when Zhi Ling started noticing me.

So, Zhi Ling went to my blog and take a look. She tagged me. And that's when we started making friends.

I guessed she was the first and only good friend that I made through blogging. One who can click well with me.

Though we both don't know how the other party looks like initially (But we do know who we look like vaguely through MSN pictures), we're still able to make friends. Through mutual trust, and without having to make friends through looks. Purely making friends, with no motive or intention.

From then on, we added each other on MSN, contact each other through handphone, and she visited my blog, and vice versa. Though we didn't really talked to each other much, but I guessed we both do have each other in our hearts.

So recently, she smsed me, asking me whether will I be attending Garie's bbq. I told her I would. My heart almost jumped out. Because that shall be the first time we would be meeting each other face to face. I was extremely happy.

About how Garie got to know Zhi Ling, I shall mention it later, right at the back.

I told her not to be shocked if she sees me because I have a round figure. And one sentence from her, I'm able to judge that I've actually met the right friend. Not a very close and best friend, but a very good acquaintance. She told me that she don't judge friends by looks. Isn't all these fate and destiny?

So we'll be meeting this friday and this is the chance to really talk about anything under the sun. So I think we should both thank Garie for this gathering. Haha.

So being the bitchy gossiper me, I went on to know more about her. In fact, I asked about her bf and her.

Viola, I hit the right spot. I've very good and perfect intuition and premonition. I asked her if her relationship between her bf and her was on the rocks. Yes, in fact, their ship were being wrecked by the heavy waves and the heavy monsoon season in the sea and the bumpy rocks.

So, I went on to ask more. As I ask even further, I get more curious. After telling me every little detail, I can picture out what had happened. All these problems are all very common in a relationship. However, if not handled with care, you know what happens.

Talking about relationship. I mean Boy-Ger relationship. What's the most important factor in a relationship, in order for a relationship to be long lasting and passionate?

Is it to have mutual trust between each other? Or is it to live and let live? Or perhaps to keep all unhappiness inside each other's hearts in order to avoid a quarrell or dispute? Or maybe giving each party a certain amount of freedom? Or being extremely protective of each other as a form of love?

Having to chat with Zhi Ling for a little while in MSN, I seemed to have lots of emotions and feelings when I listened to her short and vague story with her 4 year 3 months bf.

Whenever I heard about a couple broke off after being together for years, I just have this sour tingling sensation running through all parts of my body. I just feel very sad and it's just a waste.

However, I've decided to look things at different perspective. Instead of wondering why wouldn't their r/s work, I've went into deeper thinking and analysing. Perhaps I shall ask myself what actually happened between the couple that made this decision to break off.

Having to listen to what happened to Zhi Ling, as I know it's all one-sided story, as for those readers who happened to hop onto my blog, and happened to be one of Zhi Ling's friend, or rather her ex-bf's friend, do not be offended. What I've said don't mean anything at all, just some thoughts that ran through my head.

And I blog this to relieve all my feelings. You know, I treat my blog with love and respect.

During this 4 years 3 months, the couple spend lots of time together, went through thick and thin, went through many different difficult obstacles, holding hand in hand, hoping for a long lasting relationship.

However, things just don't work it their way. As things get worst, relationship drifts apart, eventually, the girl has no more feelings for the boy.

As the girl keeps all the unhappiness about her bf all in her heart, as all these grievances keep accumulating, piling one after another, and just one fine day. The sack could not be able to contain any more grievances and unhappiness, it just explodes. As it explodes, nothing is within control and nothing can to do save it anymore.

Let's look at this point of view. If the girl was able to tell all her unhappiness about her bf to him, and her bf is willing to change all his weaknesses and his bad points, could this relationship be long lasting and loving?

Or another point of view. If the bf chooses not to listen to what his gf had said to him and take it for granted, will this help in salvaging the relationship?

Or perhaps she choses to keep everything to herself to avoid any quarrells or dispute between her bf and her, in order not to distort the relationship between them?

After looking at 3 different point of views, I finally knew how Zhi Ling felt. It's a kind of feeling whereby we won't be able to express out. Both confusing and ambiguous.

On one hand, she did all she could to try to salvage this relationship before her feelings for him has faded completely.

On the other hand, her bf is not doing anything.

As we know, it takes two hands to clap. If one party is willing to take a step towards you, and yet the other party is taking one step even further away from you, These two hands would never clap on both palms.

After writing so much on my blog, as I write and press every single alphabets on the keyboard and think while I type, I feel so much relieved and felt as if I have straighten my thoughts.

It's Zhi Ling having this problems, and I'm also fretting over this. God, Am I here to save the world? Like Evan Almighty? HA. What a joke.

Well, I should say that I'm just too emotional.

One piece of advice to everyone, including me. It's always when you learn to lose, then you learn to cherish. Ele somente quando você perder então você estimar (Portugese Version)However, when you've just started to cherish each other, it's all too late to salvage anything.

In a nutshell, cherish everyone around you and clarify any doubts between each other, be it friends, lovers, or most of all, family.

Thanks to Zhi Ling, I've learnt a lot today and really think a lot today.

Like what she said, no matter what happens, even if she has broken up with her bf, she has to stay strong and never give up.

For this, I shall salute her for being the strongest-willed woman I've ever known. I shall make her as one of my living experience and tell myself, when things turn out badly, we must always be strong.

You go girl! WOO!

p/s: Garie got to know Zhi Ling through me. It's as simple as that! (:

No comments: